Dating Differently chapter preview: Who's the One?
Reformed Free Publishing Association
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DATING DIFFERENTLY: A GUIDE TO REFORMED DATING
by Rev. Joshua Engelsma
Chapter 4: Who's the One?
In many ways this chapter gets right to the heart of Christian dating. What I write here is devoted to helping answer the question, “Whom should I be dating? What do I look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Once you’ve answered the questions raised in the previous chapter—Why do you want to date? Are you ready to date?—then you’re ready to ask yourself the next question: “Who’s the one?”
I’m not sure it’s possible to overstate the importance of this question and its answer. What makes marriage the most important decision you might ever make is that you are going to be living with that person for the rest of your life. You’d better be quite sure before you enter into the lifelong bond of marriage that you know exactly the kind of person you are marrying.
What follows are four guidelines to think through carefully as you begin to look for someone to date.
The very idea of setting forth rules and guidelines to follow in choosing a boyfriend or girlfriend is laughable to the world. The world preaches that you can date and love and marry whomever you want, no questions asked. Unbelieving parents cross their fingers and hope their child dates and marries well, but they have little to offer in the way of guidance or advice.
But remember, the Christian dates differently. The child of God realizes that he may not date and marry anyone he likes. The word of God guides and limits his choice of a future spouse.