Marriage and Family

2nd edition

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Better to Marry provides straightforward, practical instruction for single and married believers alike, taken directly from the classic Bible passages on sex and marriage. Two appendices treat the remarriage and prohibition of the remarriage of the "innocent party."

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books. 

• 128 pages
• paperback 
• ISBN 978-1-936054-38-1
• Release date: 1993, 2014

eBook version available

2nd edition

 Click to look inside

Better to Marry provides straightforward, practical instruction for single and married believers alike, taken directly from the classic Bible passages on sex and marriage. Two appendices treat the remarriage and prohibition of the remarriage of the "innocent party."

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books.

• 128 pages
• ISBN 978-1-936054-39-8

 Click for a sample

We’re bombarded with antichristian messages everywhere in life, and from casual hookups to casual sex, our culture’s messages on dating are no different.

But Christians don’t have to follow these norms. The Bible gives us a better way.

It’s a way of chastity and wisdom. A way that understands that marriage—the end goal of dating—is for life. The person you marry will shape who you become spiritually. And that person will also be the father or mother to the children God is pleased to give you some day.

Pastorally and accessibly, Joshua Engelsma answers the practical questions of Reformed, Christian dating based on the truth that we must date differently—with marriage as the goal and scripture as the guide.

Read reviews by Carlos Antonio Gosmo (Sojourners), Kristin Stiles (booksataglance.com), James Admiraal (The Outlook), Gary Eriks (PRCA), Cory Griess (PRCA), Michelle Hofman (Young Calvinists), Jim Regnerus, Charles Terpstra (The Three R's Blog), Jon Van Dyk (Christian Renewal), Mrs. Ricky Pronk (The Messenger), and Sarah Vandergugten (Clarion)!

What others are saying about this book:

"A concise, accessible and biblically trustworthy source on this subject." –@reformedandreading

• "Wonderful! Very thorough and yet short and to the point...so, not intimidating for young people to read! It's a gem...look forward to reading more of [the author's] books in the future." – a reader (parent)
• "We didn't have to remind [our children]...to read it. They wanted to! And finished it in shocking time!  Made for an enjoyable Sunday evening of discussion with our boys. And the questions made for a great starting point with that." – a reader (parent)
• "This is a book full of practical advice on dating.  Especially helpful are the suggestions to pray at the end of dates which would help maintain physical boundaries, and to not over share throughout the day so there is plenty to talk about on dates.  Also the chapter focusing on single life is well written and encouraging."  – a reader (parent)
• "When I first opened the book I was amazed by how easy it was to read while understanding the concepts.  The book also gave thoughtful insight on the topic of dating." – a reader (young person)
• "It was a very well written book and displayed very well the concepts of dating."  – a reader (young person)

Joshua Engelsma is a minister in the Protestant Reformed Churches of America. He lives in Doon, Iowa, with his wife, Courtney, and six children. He has served as pastor of Doon Protestant Reformed Church since 2014.

• 160 pages
• ISBN 978-1-944555-60-3
  

paperback version available

audiobook version available

  Click for a sample

We’re bombarded with antichristian messages everywhere in life, and from casual hookups to casual sex, our culture’s messages on dating are no different.

But Christians don’t have to follow these norms. The Bible gives us a better way.

It’s a way of chastity and wisdom. A way that understands that marriage—the end goal of dating—is for life. The person you marry will shape who you become spiritually. And that person will also be the father or mother to the children God is pleased to give you some day.

Pastorally and accessibly, Joshua Engelsma answers the practical questions of Reformed, Christian dating based on the truth that we must date differently—with marriage as the goal and scripture as the guide.

Read reviews by @reformedandreading, Carlos Antonio Gosmo (Sojourners), Kristin Stiles (booksataglance.com), James Admiraal (The Outlook), Gary Eriks (PRCA), Cory Griess (PRCA), Michelle Hofman (Young Calvinists), Jim Regnerus, Charles Terpstra (The Three R's Blog), Jon Van Dyk (Christian Renewal), Mrs. Ricky Pronk (The Messenger), and Sarah Vandergugten (Clarion)!

What others are saying about this book:

"A concise, accessible and biblically trustworthy source on this subject." –@reformedandreading

• "Wonderful! Very thorough and yet short and to the point...so, not intimidating for young people to read! It's a gem...look forward to reading more of [the author's] books in the future." – a reader (parent)
• "We didn't have to remind [our children]...to read it. They wanted to! And finished it in shocking time!  Made for an enjoyable Sunday evening of discussion with our boys. And the questions made for a great starting point with that." – a reader (parent)
• "This is a book full of practical advice on dating.  Especially helpful are the suggestions to pray at the end of dates which would help maintain physical boundaries, and to not over share throughout the day so there is plenty to talk about on dates.  Also the chapter focusing on single life is well written and encouraging."  – a reader (parent)
• "When I first opened the book I was amazed by how easy it was to read while understanding the concepts.  The book also gave thoughtful insight on the topic of dating." – a reader (young person)
• "It was a very well written book and displayed very well the concepts of dating."  – a reader (young person)

Joshua Engelsma is a minister in the Protestant Reformed Churches of America. He lives in Doon, Iowa, with his wife, Courtney, and six children. He has served as pastor of Doon Protestant Reformed Church since 2014.

• 160 pages
• softcover
• ISBN 978-1-944555-59-7
• Release date: October 15, 2019

eBook version available

audiobook version available

In this book, a reader will find practical instruction on finding a godly marriage partner and maintaining a godly marriage. The author, a pastor for many years, is keenly attuned to the obstacles and problems facing many marriage-seeking Christians today, and he shares spiritual wisdom pertaining to relationships that lead to marriage.

• 62 pages
• paperback
• ISBN 978-0-916206-68-0
• Release date: 2001

God said to Abraham, “I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee” (Gen. 17:7; cf. Lev. 26:12, Ezek. 37:27, Jer. 30:22). This covenant is the intimate relationship of fellowship he has chosen to share with his people in Jesus Christ. God has blessed his Old and New Testament church by way of the truth of the covenant even as he blessed Abraham.

The truth of the covenant comforts us in distress, encourages us in our battle against our enemies, and gives strength when we are weak. We as believers must embrace the truth of God’s covenant by developing and nurturing a worldview that is rooted in the blessed relationship which our heavenly Father has made with us in Christ.

With the heart of a pastor and the passion of a preacher, the author has written this book to help believers combat the threatening influences of both the world and our own sin upon the Christian home and church. As a practical exposition of the doctrine of God’s covenant, this volume will aid children of the covenant in directing their lives unto the triune God— in the family, among other saints, and as they live in the midst of an unbelieving world.

Read reviews by Arend Haveman (PRCA) and Geoff Veldman (Grandville Gleaner). 

Wilbur Bruinsma is a minister in the Protestant Reformed Churches. He has pastored four congregations, and he has also served as a domestic missionary in the United States and as a missionary to Jamaica. Rev. Bruinsma and his wife have been blessed with five children and many grandchildren.

• 189 pages
• ISBN: 978-0-916206-46-8

God said to Abraham, “I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee” (Gen. 17:7; cf. Lev. 26:12, Ezek. 37:27, Jer. 30:22). This covenant is the intimate relationship of fellowship he has chosen to share with his people in Jesus Christ. God has blessed his Old and New Testament church by way of the truth of the covenant even as he blessed Abraham.

The truth of the covenant comforts us in distress, encourages us in our battle against our enemies, and gives strength when we are weak. We as believers must embrace the truth of God’s covenant by developing and nurturing a worldview that is rooted in the blessed relationship which our heavenly Father has made with us in Christ.

With the heart of a pastor and the passion of a preacher, the author has written this book to help believers combat the threatening influences of both the world and our own sin upon the Christian home and church. As a practical exposition of the doctrine of God’s covenant, this volume will aid children of the covenant in directing their lives unto the triune God— in the family, among other saints, and as they live in the midst of an unbelieving world.

Read reviews by Arend Haveman (PRCA) and Geoff Veldman (Grandville Gleaner). 

Wilbur Bruinsma is a minister in the Protestant Reformed Churches. He has pastored four congregations, and he has also served as a domestic missionary in the United States and as a missionary to Jamaica. Rev. Bruinsma and his wife have been blessed with five children and many grandchildren.

• 189 pages
• Hardcover
• ISBN: 978-0-916206-46-8
• Release date: February 2023

Look inside the book

What we are told about the relationship of Christ and his church applies to the calling of every one of us. Do you believe? Are you a child of God? Christ is your husband. According to Romans 7:4, we are married to him. To live in that consciousness is the heart of the Christian life, essential also to living joyfully in marriage.

Every Christian’s relationship to Jesus Christ is pictured in the institution of marriage. Using the biblical principles behind this institution, the author provides sound instruction to each one of us on the relationship we have with Christ, our head, and with other members of Christ’s church, the body. Practical instruction on topics such as right communication within marriage and in the church, the biblical roles of husband and of wife, and the calling to walk in the Spirit, will encourage Christians of every station and calling to live joyfully as members of Christ’s body.

Read a review by Rev. John Marcus (PRCA).

Steven Key has been a minister of the gospel for over thirty-five years. This book is based on a series of sermons which he preached in the Protestant Reformed Church in Loveland, Colorado in 2015. Rev. Key married his wife Nancy in 1976, and they have four married daughters and sixteen grandchildren.

• 240 pages
• Hardcover
• ISBN: 978-1-944555-96-2

Hardcover version available

Look inside the book

What we are told about the relationship of Christ and his church applies to the calling of every one of us. Do you believe? Are you a child of God? Christ is your husband. According to Romans 7:4, we are married to him. To live in that consciousness is the heart of the Christian life, essential also to living joyfully in marriage.

Every Christian’s relationship to Jesus Christ is pictured in the institution of marriage. Using the biblical principles behind this institution, the author provides sound instruction to each one of us on the relationship we have with Christ, our head, and with other members of Christ’s church, the body. Practical instruction on topics such as right communication within marriage and in the church, the biblical roles of husband and of wife, and the calling to walk in the Spirit, will encourage Christians of every station and calling to live joyfully as members of Christ’s body.

Read a review by Rev. John Marcus (PRCA).

Steven Key has been a minister of the gospel for over thirty-five years. This book is based on a series of sermons which he preached in the Protestant Reformed Church in Loveland, Colorado in 2015. Rev. Key married his wife Nancy in 1976, and they have four married daughters and sixteen grandchildren.

• 240 pages
• Hardcover
• ISBN 978-1-944555-95-5
• Release date: 2022

eBook version available

3rd edition

 Click to look inside

Although this book’s controversial contention that marriage is an unbreakable bond for life gets the most attention today, the book is a mainly positive explanation and application of the Bible’s teaching about marriage in all of marriage’s aspects. Marriage is a Reformed pastor’s instruction and exhortation to married couples, especially young married couples, with the purpose that they glorify God in their marriages and enjoy the bliss of this blessed communion of life. The second section is a history of the church’s doctrine and practice of marriage from Augustine and the early church through Calvin and the Reformation to the contemporary chaos.

The timeliness of the book is evident simply from the rate of divorce, not alone in North America in the early twenty-first century, but also in Reformed churches throughout the world.

What others have said about this book:

“This is one of those books that you wish could be put into the hands of every married couple and those contemplating marriage…If the contents of this book were put into practice, society would become more stable and broken homes would be few and far between.” –The Gospel Witness

“…one of the finest among the flood of such books flowing off the presses…The book [has] a theological depth and seriousness often lacking in non-Reformed books on this subject.” –Reformed Herald

“A book that says many biblical things about sex, children, family, the mystery of marriage. Recommended for laypersons and preachers alike.” –The Reformed Journal

“This book does faithfully reflect the teachings of God’s Word on marriage.” –The Banner

“A pastor, husband, and father speaks of marriage and its relationships in terms that few want to hear today–even in the church.” –Moody

“…there is much to be learned from this book for it touches upon much where the rubber hits the road in marriage.” –Ray Hoekzema, Trowel and Sword

“If ever there is a book which is vital reading for the church in our day, it is this one….This book is essential reading…and particularly should it be part of the staple diet offered to young people contemplating marriage.”  ALSO “…these books…challenged my views on the vexed subject of divorce and remarriage…they also caused me to re-examine my whole attitude to marriage in general and my own marriage in particular, and to re-appraise my role as husband, lover and head of the family.” –John Lowery, British Reformed Journal

“…Engelsma’s book is ideal for any who has an interest in the subject…Ministers, elders, deacons, husbands, wives, parents, young people, and engaged couples, especially engaged couples, should read it. They will do so with life-long profit.” –R.J. Hooper, The Tamar Reformed Witness

“…Engelsma…presents a rich, biblically based view of marriage.” –New Oxford Review

“…Engelsma…provides what may well be the clearest expression of God’s heart on the matter of marriage in print today. In simple, readable form, the author sets out the biblical view of marriage.”-Charles Crisimier III, Standard Bearer

"A wonderful book for those getting ready to marry or are already married. This two part book first covers marriage as the beautiful picture of Christ and His bride, the church. The second part explains the Scriptural truth of the unbreakable bond of marriage (no remarriage after divorce). It traces the history of the church's departure of this truth that has led to marital chaos today." -Margaret L.

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books. 

• 256 pages
• paperback 
• ISBN 978-1-936054-51-0
• Release date: 1975, 1998, 2014

eBook version available

3rd edition

 Click to look inside

Although this book’s controversial contention that marriage is an unbreakable bond for life gets the most attention today, the book is a mainly positive explanation and application of the Bible’s teaching about marriage in all of marriage’s aspects. Marriage is a Reformed pastor’s instruction and exhortation to married couples, especially young married couples, with the purpose that they glorify God in their marriages and enjoy the bliss of this blessed communion of life. The second section is a history of the church’s doctrine and practice of marriage from Augustine and the early church through Calvin and the Reformation to the contemporary chaos.

The timeliness of the book is evident simply from the rate of divorce, not alone in North America in the early twenty-first century, but also in Reformed churches throughout the world.

What others have said about this book:

“This is one of those books that you wish could be put into the hands of every married couple and those contemplating marriage…If the contents of this book were put into practice, society would become more stable and broken homes would be few and far between.” –The Gospel Witness

“…one of the finest among the flood of such books flowing off the presses…The book [has] a theological depth and seriousness often lacking in non-Reformed books on this subject.” –Reformed Herald

“A book that says many biblical things about sex, children, family, the mystery of marriage. Recommended for laypersons and preachers alike.” –The Reformed Journal

“This book does faithfully reflect the teachings of God’s Word on marriage.” –The Banner

“A pastor, husband, and father speaks of marriage and its relationships in terms that few want to hear today–even in the church.” –Moody

“…there is much to be learned from this book for it touches upon much where the rubber hits the road in marriage.” –Ray Hoekzema, Trowel and Sword

“If ever there is a book which is vital reading for the church in our day, it is this one….This book is essential reading…and particularly should it be part of the staple diet offered to young people contemplating marriage.”  ALSO “…these books…challenged my views on the vexed subject of divorce and remarriage…they also caused me to re-examine my whole attitude to marriage in general and my own marriage in particular, and to re-appraise my role as husband, lover and head of the family.” –John Lowery, British Reformed Journal

“…Engelsma’s book is ideal for any who has an interest in the subject…Ministers, elders, deacons, husbands, wives, parents, young people, and engaged couples, especially engaged couples, should read it. They will do so with life-long profit.” –R.J. Hooper, The Tamar Reformed Witness

“…Engelsma…presents a rich, biblically based view of marriage.” –New Oxford Review

“…Engelsma…provides what may well be the clearest expression of God’s heart on the matter of marriage in print today. In simple, readable form, the author sets out the biblical view of marriage.”-Charles Crisimier III, Standard Bearer

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books.

• 256 pages
• paperback
• ISBN 978-1-936054-46-6

Paperback version available

Hardcover version available

 Click for sample

Convinced that instruction on marriage is for God’s youth early on, Pastor Cory Griess has provided a distinctive devotional aid for family worship. Parents, do not delay! Before our children enter the dating scene, where feelings tend to inhibit clear Christian thought, we must ground them now in scriptural principles. The youth of the church will soon make pivotal decisions in their dating years that will permanently affect their married lives. Here is a biblical, insightful, and practical guide for Christian parents, many of whom have vowed at baptism to train their children in the doctrines of scripture to the utmost of their power. —Pastor Jonathan Mahtani

Read reviews by Joshua Engelsma (author of Dating Differently), Don E. Galardi, Sacha Walicord, and Grant Van Leuven.

Cory Griess is a pastor and seminary professor in the Protestant Reformed Churches of America. He and his wife, Lael, live in Grand Rapids, MI, where he currently serves as Professor of Practical Theology and New Testament Studies at the Protestant Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Lael, have six children, all born in Northwest Iowa where he pastored for nine years before moving to Michigan in 2018.

• 112 pages
• ISBN 978-1-944555-72-6

Softcover version available

 Click for sample

Convinced that instruction on marriage is for God’s youth early on, Pastor Cory Griess has provided a distinctive devotional aid for family worship. Parents, do not delay! Before our children enter the dating scene, where feelings tend to inhibit clear Christian thought, we must ground them now in scriptural principles. The youth of the church will soon make pivotal decisions in their dating years that will permanently affect their married lives. Here is a biblical, insightful, and practical guide for Christian parents, many of whom have vowed at baptism to train their children in the doctrines of scripture to the utmost of their power. —Pastor Jonathan Mahtani

Read reviews by Joshua Engelsma (author of Dating Differently), Don E. Galardi, Sacha Walicord, and Grant Van Leuven.

Cory Griess is a pastor and seminary professor in the Protestant Reformed Churches of America. He and his wife, Lael, live in Grand Rapids, MI, where he currently serves as Professor of Practical Theology and New Testament Studies at the Protestant Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Lael, have six children, all born in Northwest Iowa where he pastored for nine years before moving to Michigan in 2018.

• 112 pages
• softcover
• ISBN 978-1-944555-71-9
• Release date: August 4, 2020

This book is available in Spanish here via Amazon.com.

eBook version available

Reformed Education is an explanation for the people of God of the fundamentals of Christian day-school education. The book demonstrates that the basis of the Christian school is God's covenant of grace with believers and their children. Treating such vital subjects as the place of Scripture and the creeds in the school, the biblical view of culture, the qualifications and calling of the Christian schoolteacher, and the goal of education, the author contends that the covenant of God controls and shapes all aspects of the Christian school.

In the course of this explanation, the book defends Christian schools against serious challenges—challenges as old as the claim that the state schools are adequate and challenges as new as the home-schooling movement.

This is the book to put in the hands of all believing parents. It will encourage those committed to Christian education. It will educate those who are doubtful. Christian schoolteachers will benefit from the book's description of their work: a divine calling to help in the rearing of the covenant child. Indeed, if the author is right in saying that all members of the church, whether parents or not, should support the Christian education of the children of believers as the church's own children, all can read the book with profit.

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books.

• 112 pages
• ISBN 978-1-936054-17-6

Reformed Education is an explanation for the people of God of the fundamentals of Christian day-school education. The book demonstrates that the basis of the Christian school is God's covenant of grace with believers and their children. Treating such vital subjects as the place of Scripture and the creeds in the school, the biblical view of culture, the qualifications and calling of the Christian schoolteacher, and the goal of education, the author contends that the covenant of God controls and shapes all aspects of the Christian school.

In the course of this explanation, the book defends Christian schools against serious challenges—challenges as old as the claim that the state schools are adequate and challenges as new as the home-schooling movement.

This is the book to put in the hands of all believing parents. It will encourage those committed to Christian education. It will educate those who are doubtful. Christian schoolteachers will benefit from the book's description of their work: a divine calling to help in the rearing of the covenant child. Indeed, if the author is right in saying that all members of the church, whether parents or not, should support the Christian education of the children of believers as the church's own children, all can read the book with profit.

David J. Engelsma served as minister to several Protestant Reformed congregations until he was appointed to the Protestant Reformed Seminary in 1988 as professor of Dogmatics and Old Testament studies. He also served as editor of the "Standard Bearer" from 1988-2002. Prof. Engelsma has lectured and preached throughout the British Isles on behalf of the British Reformed Fellowship, which is devoted to the spread and defense of the Reformed faith in the United Kingdom. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI, with his wife and is the father of 9 children. He has authored many RFPA books.

• 112 pages
• paperback
• ISBN 978-0-916206-63-5
• Release date: 1977, 1981, 2000

Using Scripture as his guide, author Herman Hanko in this book develops the truth of God's covenant as it relates to the baptism of the infants of believers. "We" (the elect people of God) and "our children" are and should be inseparably linked because they both belong to the covenant of grace, though some Christian denominations deny this beautiful truth when they refuse to baptize their children.

What others are saying about this book:

"Excellent." – Douglas Wilson (Goodreads)

"One of the best biblical arguments I've read for the case for covenantal infant baptism." – Chris G. (Goodreads)

Read reviews by Henry Pieter Kik (Westminster Theological Seminary) and Russell J. Dykstra (The Standard Bearer).

Herman Hanko (1930-2024) served as a minister in the Protestant Reformed Churches from 1955 to 1965, when he was appointed to serve as professor in the Protestant Reformed Seminary in Grandville, MI. He served in that capacity until his retirement in 2001. Until his passing in April 2024, he continued to lecture widely in the USA, the United Kingdom, and other countries, including Singapore and the Philippines. He is the author of several RFPA books.

• 184 pages
• paperback
• ISBN 978-0-616206-79-6
• Release date: 2004